Christmas Tapas Menu

December 16, 2013December 16, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / Leave a comment

I’ve only really come around to the idea of Christmas this year. Every year previous I’ve organised an event called Big Gay Christmas, where we would typically avoid general Christmas activities, get drunk and have a laugh with our friends. I would host an open house party and people would drop in and out all day, eat food and play video games with me. It also meant CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST and who doesn’t like that one day a year? Last year unfortunately I was severely let down. I spent most of the day by myself, until a kind friend invited me over and by which point I was so drunk and upset I fell asleep on her sofa. With that in mind I decided that my generosity was no long appreciated and therefore would no longer be offered. Luckily I have a lovely Beardy who has a great family and they are having us and the woofer over for Christmas. This gives me great joy because for the first time in ten years, SOMEONE ELSE WILL BE COOKING! (Although I have agreed to make mulled wine.)

I’m at Mykey’s family for Christmas, so that means I’m at my parent’s for New Years. I promised them I’d make something tasty, so I decided I’d do a bit of a random tapas menu. Clearly I needed to practise it as well, due to my family being rather large. (Quite ironic for someone so avidly against population expansion.)

The menu is as follows:

Parsnip soup
Home made bread
Plant based cheeses
Chutneys and jellies
Bread crackers
Dutch apple cake (blatantly store brought)
Sweet, breaded and roasted “ham”
“Steak” and ale mini pies
Fruit jelly and custard
Roast potatoes
Thai “fish” cakes
Mushroom pate

Obviously you need to like make gravy and steam some vegetables of your choice, but that is a 4-6 person spread right there.

Sourdough Toast & Home-made Pine Nut Pesto Salsa

December 6, 2013December 6, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / Leave a comment

I found a magazine stashed away under the sofa called, “Summer Vegetarian” recently. I had a look through and decided that pretty much everything could be veganised or was already vegan. I looked at the first recipe and instantly wanted to make it. It was called, “Ricotta toasts with rocket and pine nut salsa.” I’ve put my Queer hands all over it, veganed the shit out of it and below is the result:

Ingredients:

* 1 clove of garlic, roughly chopped.

* 50g bag of wild rocket.

* 20g of fresh basil.

* A whole small jar of capers, drained.

* Juice of half a fresh lemon.

* 3 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil.

* Half a small bag of pine nuts.

* 1 loaf of sourdough bread.

* Two fresh tomatoes, sliced.

Method:

Put the garlic, rocket, basil leaves, capers, lemon juice and olive oil into a food processor and pulse blend until you have a chunky, bright green sauce.

Stir the pine nuts through the sauce and give another quick pulse blend.

Slice your sourdough loaf and toast under the grill or in the toaster.

Spread your pesto salsa on your toast and top with fresh sliced tomatoes. You can also add a dash of balsamic vinegar here for a little extra flavour.

The original recipe suggests that per serving you’d be looking at 279 calories. Personally I’d guess that it was much less than that because I’ve not used any animal derived ingredients.

This took approximately ten minutes to make and it will use the entire loaf.

I’d serve this as a snack, a starter or a light lunch. It’s full of protein, vitamin C and vitamin E. Enjoy! 🙂

Vanilla & Maple Syrup Cookies

November 25, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / 1 Comment

I love cooking, but when it comes to baking I’m probably the worst person in the world at it! Don’t get me wrong, vegan cakes are no harder to make than non-vegan ones. If anything they are easier because you don’t have to mess around with eggs etc. The reason I’m so bad? Well because you have to follow the recipe using proper measurements for it all to come out right. You can imagine my surprise when I just threw a load of ingredients together the other night and they actually came out ok. No scrap that, they were amazingly tasty….even if they didn’t look it.

Here’s my made up spur of the moment recipe:

¾ tub of vegan butter (I used Vitalite.)

A phone sized wedge of vegetable shortening (I used Trex.)

2 tablespoons of vanilla essence.

Half a small bottle of maple syrup.

2 tablespoons of egg replacer (I don’t normally use this stuff, but I just thought it might work for once and it was almost out of date.)

A shot of water.

10 tablespoons of self raising flour.

Method to my madness:

Place the butter and the shortening in a bowl and mix together using an everyday fork, until it becomes a type of thick paste.
Now add the flour, vanilla essence, maple syrup and egg replacer. Mix together with clean hands and if it becomes too dry, now is the time to add the shot of water.
It should basically look….well like cookie dough! You can also try it now because it doesn’t have any nasty things in it that will make you sick. Do you like it? Does it need more vanilla? Then add it!
Now grab some greaseproof paper, put it on a baking tray and spoon out small circles which will become your cookies.
Bake for 10 minutes at 200 degrees, then turn right down to 150 degrees for another 10 minutes. (This will insure the outside is crispy and the inside is soft.)
Serve with a nice glass of plant based milk.

Seriously Tasty Time Saving Porridge Topper

November 10, 2013November 10, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / 1 Comment

Oats are amazing! They are great for the bacteria in your gut, give you loads of energy, keep you full up and are loaded with fiber. Being vegan I don’t really need to worry about fiber because everything I eat has it in, but you can always do with more right?

Mykey and I live a very hectic lifestyle. We are guardians to five cats and one very lively American Bulldog called Bailey. We also work full time and train twice a day everyday at the gym. A little while ago I decided we needed to cut down on the amount of time we spent getting ready in the morning for work, so I came up with this great time saving idea that gives porridge an extra health boost and tastes great.

I make up a jar full of super foods that I then sprinkle on top. Before I used to spend and extra twenty minutes in the morning making sure our breakfasts were as packed with nutrients as possible. Now I stick my spoon in my jar and throw it on top of my bowl of oats, before smothering in soya milk and sometimes heating in the microwave.

Yum!

The jar lasts about a month if two of you are eating porridge everyday for 5 out of 7 days a week. I also like to put different things in it each month, but this month I’ve gone with flaked almonds, pecan nuts, pumpkin seeds, dried goji berries, shredded coconut, walnuts, milled flaxseed, chia seeds and if I put anything else in there, I can’t remember!

Enjoy! 🙂

Red Lentil Dahl

November 3, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / Leave a comment

This is a dish I have been making for years. It’s really simple and totally yummy! 🙂

Firstly you’re gonna need some ingredients:

* Two handfuls of red lentils

* 800 grams of chopped tomatoes

* 4 cloves of garlic, crushed

* 1 can of coconut milk

* 2 cubes of vegetable stock

* 2 white onions

* 1 tablespoon of garam masala, cayenne pepper and cumin (each)

1) Heat some oil in a large pan. I used a wok because this makes plenty.

2) Now add in your two chopped onions and garlic. Give it a good stir to cover everything in the oil.

3) Turn the heat off and place the red lentils in the pan. Mix through thoroughly adding all the spices as you go.

4) Now add the whole can of coconut milk and again mix and stir through. (Turn the heat back on now.)

5) Open and pour the chopped tomatoes into the pan.

6) Place your stock cubes in the pan, add half a pint of cold water and again mix through.

7) Turn the heat right down to it’s lowest and stir the pan every few minutes for about 20-30 minutes, or until a good chunk of the liquid has been absorbed.

8) Serve with garlic and parsley vegan buttered chapatis.

Vegetable Paella

October 21, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / Leave a comment

Sorry I’ve not posted in a while! I’ve unfortunately had a lot of anxiety issues lately but fear not, I’m back on track to being a super fitness fiend.

Seeing as we’re all feeling the squeeze at the moment, I thought I’d do another one of my Cheap as Chips meals. Most of the ingredients you should have in your cupboard or fridge and if you don’t, you should be able to source them from your local corner shop.

Ingredients

1 red onion
2 bell peppers (you can even go for frozen ones if you’re super skint.)
A large handful of frozen peas
2 cloves of garlic
2 fresh tomatoes
1 tablespoon paprika
1 pint of long grain rice
2 pints of vegetable stock
A good pinch of black pepper

Method

Chop your peppers, onion and garlic and place in a heated pan with some oil. Add your frozen ingredients (which for me was just peas) and mix.

Then create a well in the middle of the pan and fill with your two chopped fresh tomatoes and the paprika.

Now pour the vegetable stock straight into the well in the middle and mix everything around thoroughly.

Add the rice and mix through thoroughly.

Allow to simmer on the lowest heat for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. In this time the liquid will start to be absorbed by the rice, so make sure it doesn’t burn to the bottom of the pan.

Once 20 minutes has passed, sprinkle with pepper and allow to stand for another five minutes. (The longer you leave it the thicker it will become.)

Spaghetti & Meatballs – Not What You Think!

October 3, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / 3 Comments

This can be made raw if you have a dehydrator, which I do, however for the interest of the general public I’ll do this the traditional way…..for a very untraditional take on this classic Italian dish.

Ingredients

1 pack of sun dried tomatoes

2 carrots, peeled and chopped

4 garlic cloves

2 tsp flax seed

1 tsp hemp seeds

A large handful of standard mushrooms

A good sprinkle of both oregano and basil

A small sprinkle of fennel seed

Half a small bag of walnuts

4 large tomatoes

Fresh basil leaves

Sea salt

2 large courgettes

Method:

Get the oven on at full whack.

Place the sundried tomatoes, carrots, mushrooms, 2 garlic cloves (peeled), flax, hemp seeds, herbs, walnuts and sea salt in the blender and pulse blend until it forms into a crumbly mixture.

Shape the mixture into small balls using a soup spoon and place in a baking tray.

Then place in the oven on a 15 minute timer. Make sure you turn the heat down to about 200 degrees otherwise they will burn.

In the meantime, make the tomato sauce.

Combine the fresh tomatoes, two garlic, basil and sea salt and blend until smooth. (Use the food processor again. No need to wash it out.)

You can then place this in a pan to heat or you can serve it cold.

Next you need to cut or spiralise the courgettes into noodles.

I also added a cheeky splash of soy sauce just for some extra flavour.

Then remove the meatballs from the oven and place on top of your, “spaghetti.”

Pour your tomato sauce either warmed or cold over the top and enjoy the marvellous mix of flavours in this healthy, low calorie dish.

Chilli with crunchy tortilla & avocado salad

September 24, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / 1 Comment

It’s been a while, but I had the perfect excuse to cook this luxurious meal the other night because my friend Jim decided to come over for dinner and a gaming evening. (Dawn of War if you must know! 😉 )

For the chilli and rice
1 fresh red chilli
1 red onion
1 teaspoon sweet smoked paprika
½ teaspoon cumin seeds
1-2 garlic cloves
1 big bunch fresh coriander
olive oil
2 mixed-colour peppers
1 x 400 g tin of chickpeas
1 x 400 g tin of black beans or pinto beans. (I used pinto because I couldn’t find black.)
700 g passata
1x 250 g pack of mixed long grain & wild rice
For the salad
4 small corn tortilla wraps
2 ripe avocados
3 heaped tablespoons soy yoghurt
2 limes
1 romaine lettuce
½ cucumber
1 fresh green chilli
1 handful ripe cherry tomatoes

Ingredients out • Oven at 200°C/400°F/gas 6 • Food processor (bowl blade)

Place the rice in a pan with cold water and crank up the heat. Keep and eye on this, it will take exactly 15 minutes.

Put the chillies, peeled and halved red onion, paprika and cumin seeds into the processor, squash in the unpeeled garlic through a garlic crusher, then add the coriander stalks (reserving the leaves) and 2 tablespoons of oil, and whiz until fine.

Tip into the pan, then add the deseeded and roughly chopped peppers, drained chickpeas and black beans, a pinch of salt and pepper and the passata, stir well.

Fold the tortillas in half, slice into 0.5cm strips, sprinkle on to a baking tray and pop in the oven until golden and crisp.

Put most of the coriander leaves, a pinch of salt and pepper, half a peeled avocado, the yoghurt and the juice from 2 limes into a jug and whiz with a stick blender until silky.

Check and adjust the seasoning of the chilli.

Remove the tortillas from the oven into a bowl, cut the lettuce into chunky wedges and add to the bowl • Scoop and dot over curls of avocado • Peel the cucumber into ribbons and finely slice half a chilli, then scatter both over the top.

Pour chilli into serving dish. Make a well in the middle of the chilli and tip in the drained and cooked rice.

Pour the dressing over the salad, pick over the remaining coriander leaves, finely slice the remaining chilli and sprinkle over the top along with the halved cherry tomatoes, then toss everything together • Serve with dollops of yoghurt.

Munch the hell out of it! 🙂

Butter Bean Soup

September 18, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / Leave a comment

Yes I know I’m doing another soup recipe, but it’s cold and who doesn’t need warming up in this weather? By the way, I’m not looking forward to winter! 😦

First off, we need the ingredients. This is another cheap and healthy meal.

A tablespoon of vegetable stock
1 stick of celery
4 carrots
400 grams of butter beans (Mine are dried, so I soaked mine for a few hours before hand. Tinned are much quicker.)
Two medium sized potatoes
3 cloves of garlic
1 onion
Sage, parsley and thyme (or whatever similar herbs you have.)

Now get yourself a large sauce pan and fill with water. Place your butter beans in the pan and turn the heat on full.

Now it’s time for the potatoes. Make sure you dice those bad boys first.

Onion and celery are next. Again chopped up nice and small.

The water will be warming up nicely now, so it’s time to add the peeled and chopped carrots.

If you’re a fan of Jamie Oliver’s 15 Minute Meals like I am, you’ll have a garlic crusher. It is my number one time saving device because you don’t have to peel the garlic. 🙂 Add those crushed cloves in baby! (You can never have too much garlic!)

Now sprinkle your mixture of herbs over the top, stir through. Turn the heat down and allow to simmer for about 35 minutes.

I actually put this yummy monster of a soup in a tub and took it to work.

You won’t need bread. This will fill you up with goodness from your head to your toes. Enjoy! 🙂

(The recipe will make two very large portions.)

Creamy Carrot & Ginger Soup

September 15, 2013 / Frankie Mouche / 4 Comments

I don’t know about where you live, but here in the South East of England Autumn is just starting and it’s getting chilly. What better way to start autumn than with a lovely, warming soup? This is so easy, cheap and ready within 25 minutes. 🙂

Ingredients

1 red onion, peeled and chopped
10 carrots, peeled and chopped
A cube or large sprinkle of vegetable stock
Ginger paste
Coriander
Rapeseed oil

Method

Place a teaspoon of rapeseed oil into a hot pan and then place your chopped onions in.

Laugh at a mutated carrot

Add the rest of the carrots to the pan and mix well with a good sprinkle of dried coriander.

Then add the vegetable stock in it’s dry form.

Add a large squeeze of ginger paste, then pour in a pint of boiling water.

Allow to cook on a low heat for 20 minutes, or when the carrots soften.

Now it’s time to blend. Be careful that your blender is tightened up properly because you don’t want hot water to spray out onto you. (Speaking from experience btw.)