My thoughts on Vegan Pride.

In June 1969 the movement for LGBTQIA+ equality and liberation began. A series of riots took place centring around the Stonewall Inn in New York. These riots were instigated by transgender women of colour and the next year, the first Pride Parade was held.  (You can read more about the history of Pride HERE.)

In recent years Pride has been the victim of commercialisation, police acceptance and the perpetrator of documented trans and bisexual erasure. We are fighting a battle within our own movement to reclaim our heritage and our purpose. We forget that trans women of colour started our journey to liberation because of police aggression and centre our celebrations around cis gay men.

All is not lost however. Various Pride’s around the world now incorporate political blocs. I was part of one that was removed from Pride by the police in the summer of 2017. Those who are fed up of Pride being taken from us, have splintered and created their own after parade parties, much of them political in nature and centring around queer and trans people especially those of BAME origin.

In the world outside of Pride and our little queer families we tend to make for ourselves, the struggle for LGBTQIA+ rights continues. Transphobia and homophobia are rife in schools, workplaces and the media. There’s a moral panic about trans children in the UK media which is damaging communities already on the edge of society. We’ve already had one trans woman murdered in 2018. How many more are we going to lose?

Then there’s the intersex babies that no one talks about. The babies who’s sex and gender are decided for them at birth and surgery undertaken to change their ambiguous genitals so they match the sex the parents have decided for them. There are many documented of cases of ongoing psychological damage in intersex adults.

So with all of that to contend with, I was surprised to see an event in London calling itself, “Vegan Pride.” It takes after various events around the world, including one in Toronto which after it’s first year had to rename itself due to uproar from the LGBTQIA+ community.

So why “Vegan Pride?” Why not any other number of names it could have been that doesn’t have any LGBTQIA+ association? London Vegan Parade? March for Veganism? Vegans United Parade? Nope. They HAD to appropriate queer culture and use it for themselves.

Some people have mistaken it as a parade for LGBTQIA+ vegans, but it’s anything but. If you go onto the Facebook event you’ll see a big group of privileged cis white vegans claiming they are oppressed for an ethical choice they have chosen to make, “all lives matter” rhetoric and certain people who have known Nazi affiliations. I even saw a cis friend of mine silence queer people’s objections to them stealing our culture. I was shocked and suddenly felt really unsafe. I’ve yet to confront him about it. Maybe he’ll see this and realise what he’s done. 😦 The event organisers are banning any LGBTQIA+ people who comment objecting, thus silencing our objection.

The whole event is really off putting for vegans and non-vegans alike. It waters down everyone’s message. The message for queer liberation, the ongoing struggles of queer POC and it screams of human centricity. What about the animals?

The worst part? It clashes with one of the biggest and most prolific Pride events in theUK: Brighton Pride.

Please remember that vegans are not oppressed. Oppression needs a power structure to uphold it. Your uncle making bacon jokes or you not being able to get a decent sandwich for lunch is not oppression. It’s just difficulties from a life choice that you have made, a choice which so many other people do not have, putting you in a position of privilege not misfortune. Queer and trans people did not choose and cannot unchoose who they are, like you can with your veganism.

In closing I would like to ask you to boycott this event and tell people why you are doing it, especially if you are an ally. We need you more now than ever.

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A Letter To My Friends & Family

In June 2012, I came out to my friends and family as genderqueer. I asked everyone to use gender neutral pronouns and never refer to me as female/she/her again. I explained that this means I am not male or female and never have been.

In October 2012 I dressed up as a zombie police officer for Halloween. I gave the character a beard. In fact the beard was so affirming that I wore it the whole of the next day and really didn’t want to wash it off. I remember telling my best friend at the time that I thought I might need to transition. She was supportive, but I was too scared and buried it deep inside me like I had done my whole life.

Over time I watched my trans friends transition and I was secretly jealous of their ability to be who they were. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need to transition. That who I was, was perfectly valid. The dysphoria was eating me alive nonetheless.

Around 2014 I redefined my gender identity as nonbinary. It means basically the same thing as genderqueer and sits as an umbrella term for people for don’t conform to binary gender norms. I liked it better. Enby is also an epic colloquial term. I also decided that this identity was a transgender identity. I now told people I was trans as part of my nonbinary identity.

Frankie came to be in April 2016. I needed to move away from my overly feminine name given to me when I was born. This was tough at work and initially with my friends. My family, never really having got the hang of my gender neutral pronouns, have still not got the hang of my new name as of November 2017.

From April 2016 to April 2017 I was happy just to be Frankie. My gender identity was still nonbinary, but instead of presenting in a fluid way where I would drift between feminine and masculine, I presented as entirely masculine.

At the end of April 2017 I was drunk in Cardiff. I was sat on my own outside of Brewdog enjoying the spring sunshine and everything I had been suppressing about my gender identity came to the surface. I needed to transition. I needed to masculinise physically. I text my mum and then told Facebook.

How I identify now is Transmasculine Nonbinary and I will be beginning my physical transition in April/May 2018. Here are some things you need to know:

  1. The NHS has made this process very difficult. They have been messing around sending me to mental health units and demeaning my experience for the past seven months, when I should have been referred to the gender clinic and been on their two year waiting list by now. I am still pursuing this route because there is no way I can afford my whole transition privately. However, I was able to afford two private consultations which will allow me to begin transitioning in Spring next year.
  2. My transition will start with regular injections of testosterone. This will push my body into what is essentially “male” puberty. My shoulders will broaden. My muscle and fat distribution will change. My voice will deepen and hopefully I’ll get a decent amount of body hair, especially on my face. (There are other changes too but you don’t really need to know about them. :P) I will appear to society as a “man”, but I will still have boobs. They will be flattened by a binder, when I find one that doesn’t cause me sensory issues.
  3. Somewhere down the line I will have what is know as top surgery. I will have my boobs surgically removed and replaced with pecs.  My boobs are a massive source of dysphoria. If I could have them taken off first, I would. People use my boobs to gender me and I hate it.
  4. I will not be having bottom surgery. My cunt does not cause me any dysphoria at all.
  5. This does not mean I am a man. I will never be a man. I am nonbinary. I do not fit in any binary boxes of gender nonsense. I will continue to use gender neutral pronouns.

 

I need you all to know that I have gone through a lot of emotional pain to get to this point. I NEED you to respect my pronouns and my name. Making mistakes was fine to start with, but it’s been a year and a half and mistakes are starting to look more and more like they are deliberate. If you continue to dead name and misgender me, I will have to remove you from my life.

This has been your final warning.

Frankie

 

 

Trans Liberation Now

In June 1969 the movement for LGBTQIA+ equality and liberation began. A series of riots took place centering around the Stonewall Inn in New York. These riots were instigated by transgender women of colour and the next year, the first Pride Parade was held.

Let me just say that again for the people who may have missed it:

 

The LGBTQIA+ rights movement was started by TRANS WOMEN OF COLOUR.

 

Why then for almost two generations did we refer to Pride colloquially as, “Gay Pride” and the LGBTQIA+ rights movement as the “Gay Rights Movement?”

The western world revolves around cisgender white males. It has done so for thousands of years. White cis men invented the patriarchy and white supremacy to keep the rest of us in our place and subservient to them. Don’t think we as queer or trans people are exempt from that, because we aren’t.

Every movie or documentary ever made about the Stonewall riots has been filled with cis white gay men. The most recent, “Stonewall” movie had a white gay guy throw the first brick that started the riots. Martha P Johnson will be rolling in her grave.

Even the famous UK charity Stonewall spent years fighting for the rights of lesbians, gays and bisexuals without  giving a single thought about the trans women who started the whole damned thing.

The Stonewall charity are now fighting for trans rights too, but like many gay centered pages such as Pink News, they are allowing rampant transphobia to go unchecked in their comments sections.

It makes you wonder why 48 years ago trans people even bothered. Our rights have come along at a snail’s pace whilst the “gay charities” gain popular opinion, legal recognition and specifically in the UK almost entirely full equality with heterosexuals.

Are we content to be shut off like this? Well we have been I suppose. Waiting for our gay comrades to turn around and help us, the way we have helped them.

 

Now is our time. Lets fight for our rights and for inclusivity for the most vulnerable in our community. Lets call out the LGB bigots who make jokes about gender neutrality and dismantle the online spaces rife with transmisogyny. Lets support and help raise up our trans siblings of colour.

 

 

Fuck racism. Fuck cissexism. Fuck transmisogyny. Fuck transphobia. Fuck the LGB community out for themselves without a second thought for the TQIA.

Let’s make 2018 our year!

Mushroom Pie

Autumn is here and that means only one thing: pie! With that in mind I thought I’d share one of my old pie recipes with you. Instead of going for creamy, I’ve gone for a super savoury rich sauce which will have your taste buds dancing on the ceiling.

Let’s get the ingredients sorted:

  • A tablespoon of all purpose flour
  • A tablespoon of corn flour
  • Two carrots, peeled and diced
  • One onion, peeled and diced
  • One stick of celery, diced
  • Pre-rolled puff pastry (I used Jus Rol.)
  • Vegetable stock (I used a tablespoon of paste.)
  • Salt & pepper to taste
  • Two different types of mushrooms. (I used chesnut and dried shitake.)
  • Vegetable oil
  • 5 bulbs of garlic, peeled and diced
  • Tablespoon of dried parsley

Let’s get going:

Chop and mix the mushrooms. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add the vegetable stock and all purpose flour. Heat some vegetable oil in a pan and add the mixture. (The picture below is before I added the flour and mixed.)

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Stir fry for about three minutes, or until mushrooms are soft. Remove the mushroom mixture from the pan and place in a bowl of about 250ml of water. This will create a lovely rich stock.

Now place the onions, garlic, carrot, parsley and celery into the pan, making sure you scrape up all that lovely flavour left by the mushrooms. Add the mushrooms and stock back in. Mix everything together and then add the corn flour, mixing continually. Turn the pan right down, cover and allow to simmer for 15 minutes.

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Check on the mixture occasionally to make sure it has not become too thick. If it has, add some water and stir.

Once the carrots and celery are nice and soft, take the pan off of the heat and allow to cool.

Roll the pastry out and cut into shapes larger than the dishes you plan to use. Heat the oven to about 3/4 of top heat. Fill the dishes and cover the mixture with the puff pastry. Don’t forget to poke some holes in the pastry to allow steam to escape.

After 20 minutes in the oven, your pie(s) should look like this:

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Serve with green beans and mashed potato. Enjoy as a small pot pie or a a huge slab of deliciousness.

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I hope you enjoy this recipe. It’s one of my favourites!

Frankie 🙂

My Transition

I have decided to pursue medical transition with the NHS.

I guess I always knew it would happen. Like I’ve always looked at myself naked and absolutely 100% not related to what I have seen.

My main source of dysphoria are my boobs. Whenever people are looking to gender me, they always look at my chest. If they can see boobs, I’m a girl. If they can’t see boobs, I’m a boy. What if I’m neither? What if I’m just a masculine enby who is trying to struggle through life the best that they can?

As things go, I’d rather top surgery before anything else. I’d even wait to go on testosterone if it means I don’t have to have tits anymore. The thing is though, I know that’s not going to happen. When I eventually get seen by the gender clinic, they’ll put me on testosterone. I’ll grow facial hair and my voice will deepen. I hate binding my chest for sensory reasons, but I’ll have to for safety. Using binary toilets will be even more of a nightmare than it is now with a beard and a big old pair of baps. It’s a good job I have a radar key. I think I’ll be using that more as time goes on.

Also I’m petrified of surgery. It gets better right? I’ve never broken anything or been under general anaesthetic in my life. I have a high pain tolerance, but that doesn’t negate being in pain whilst I recover, nipple infections and all the other horror stories I’ve read about. Mostly those who undergo top surgery seem to have had a great experience though. Lessening of dysphoria, “passing” as male if that is something they desire and a general better sense of who they are. I guess a lot of trans folks assigned female at birth have dysphoria with their boobs and this makes it a whole lot better. I’m looking forward to people not staring at my chest for some magical gender marker and I’m looking forward to being able to wear shirts and vests without my cleavage.

What has this got to do with being queer and being vegan I hear you cry!?

Well my gender will always be queer as will my sexuality. I’m not transitioning to become a man, more to enhance my masculinity and lessen my gender dysphoria. This is why I identify as nonbinary and furthermore now as transmasculine nonbinary.

My veganism is about to hit year 12 tomorrow. It took me 20 years to figure that out and it’s taken me 31 to figure out, or more to the point build up the courage to transition. Both things I know are essential to my mental health and emotional well being because I’m being true to myself. The more true I am to myself the more I grow and that is what this life is all about right?

Frankie

Too Much Information

Since February 22nd 2017 I have been acutely aware that I am autistic. It has opened up my world significantly and lifted the severe burden I’ve felt for my behaviour all my life.

I have a good friend of mine to thank for this awareness. Her name is Selena. She is also non-binary and autistic.

I struggle around people in general, but I don’t struggle around Selena so we tend to do social things together. Last night she invited me to a bit of a DIY, house party gig.

We got fairly wasted. Towards the end of the night, she got up and did this spoken word piece. The room was silent and enthralled by her every word, especially me because every word rang so true in my heart and in my head.

I’ve asked for her permission to share this here and she delightfully agreed.

Too Much Information

Aut…ism

Aut meaning self

An ism of oneself

A glass jar I live within

As I watch you all

Detached from your presence

I watch

I see you

I see your silver hooped earings

As you tick tock your head to the rhythm, they dance along

They snatch the light, bright

Like floodlights in my line of sight

 

I see you.

I see the gravelly knit of your sweater

Like volcanic pebbles

Tumbled and tossed for a million years

And for a moment I am there

Wading, my toes cold in the spring water

 

You, I see too

Your hands clasping the tight lens of your camera

Twisting your fingers around the dials

I see the grain of the wood

The dampness of the soil in the jars and the harp and the German stoneware

I dive into the pattern of the mandala-like tapestry behind me

I’m hypnotised and I count

Mandala, mandala

I like that word

I repeat

Mandala

Like a mantra

Mandala

Mandala

 

I obsess

In my head (mandala)

My head is tight

I’m taking in too much information (mandala)

The light from your earrings

They’re beautiful because

(Mandala), because

They match the solver of your hair

Is that ok to say?

I never really know you see

Do you like this pattern?

It reminds me of a mandala

Mandala

I love that word

She’s not answering me

Her earrings are so shiny

 

It’s loud in here

I can hear the people breathing

Their sleeves rustling as they lift their arms

Slurp of their lips on their cans of SA

My heart is racing

I look at the mandala

I want to be here in the room

But I’m not

I’m in a glass jar

I can see you

But I’m not really here

On my face is a smile and my tongue is rowdy

Yet inside I’m shrunken

Drunken with over stimulation

I’m curled up in a ball, small and tight as my fist

Shielding my brain from all the information

Cos it’s loud and inside I’m screaming

It hurts and it’s really, really uncomfortable

I may look like like I’m not paying attention

But I want to be here

It’s just too much information.

 

By Selena Caemawr

A Gender Revolution?

When National Geographic magazine announced they were going to do a whole issue on gender, I was understandably excited but sceptical. Here I examine the good and bad parts of The Gender Issue.

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They start out pretty badly to be honest. They have interviews with Gloria Steinem and Sheryl Sandberg. Gloria goes on to state that, “the idea of race and gender are divisive.” That’s a really privileged comment to make in my opinion and has no place in modern feminism.

The magazine goes on to ask questions of them both about binary gender:

What advice would you give girls and boys today?

Nice one NG! Erased in the first interviews. At this point I want to throw the fucking thing out the window and hope it hits a TERF in the face. ARGH!

Page five comes with a diverse image of people of different genders and races from across the world and a list of terms relating to them. For example it gives definitions of gender expression and gender fluidity. There could have been more of this. It’s 4 pages long and probably the best thing in the entire magazine. It was nice to see my identity covered too. That’s not something I’ve seen in a mainstream magazine before.

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So now I’m hopeful. They get that gender isn’t binary, right? Nope. The next few pages are filled with binary gender statistics. I could have been erased entirely by science anywhere, but in the pages of a magazine claiming to be exploring gender, it hurts a tad bit more. I dunno if I’m just over reacting now. What did I expect? A magazine about gender to actually explore other genders than cis male and cis female properly?

A few pages later and I come across an article about intersex butterflies. Interesting. They explained what intersex was earlier and that the term, “hermaphrodite” is considered offensive. So what do they go on to do? Describe the butterflies as hermaphrodites. Are you fucking serious? What actually is life?

More binary gender stats about cis men and cis women. *yawn*

I’m actually bored shitless now and angry. Why am I even reading this tripe? The next set asks kids from around the world about gender. They include one transgirl for a bit of variety, but even she sees gender as male and female only. (She’s only 9 so we’ll let her off.)

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Rethinking Gender is a gripping few pages. It examines the science behind our gender identities, different cultures with accepted third genders and the legality of officially changing your gender from the one you were assigned at birth. I actually thoroughly enjoyed this section.

The whole rest of the magazine is dedicated to:

  •  How different cultures celebrate children becoming adults i.e men and women. That would have been fine if they had included other genders too. Obviously not though.
  • Paternal leave in Sweden. Um what?
  • Gender roles…..binary gender roles. Not the cool ones.;)

It was hard to read this issue and it was hard to write this blog because it brought out some very angry thoughts. Buy it if you fancy fucking screaming at it and smacking your head against the wall repeatedly. Also and just for clarity, fuck the cistem and fuck the binary.

Night all.

 

 

I can’t believe I’m writing this in 2017.

As you may have noticed, I’ve been moving away from recipes and more towards all the fucked up shit that is going on in the world. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to throw one in every now and again, but what it means is that with social media being the way it is for exposure, things have to get shared a lot or you have to pay for that exposure. Sadly my format of recipe writing just doesn’t cut it in 2017. Look at Bosh for example. They show you a whole recipe video in about 1 minute and it’s beautiful. I can’t compete with that.

https://www.facebook.com/boshtv/?fref=nf

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Anyway what I really wanted this blog post to be about was social injustice. The more I educate myself, the more I feel like we’re drowning in some sort of discriminatory hell that half of us won’t even admit exists and the other half actively promote.

I think what has really got on my nerves this last week in the idea that reverse racism exists. I’m a white, working class queer and I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my whole life.

Let’s give everyone the benefit of the doubt and explain this from the bottom up so that there is no excuse

White people for the most part, own and run the Western hemisphere of this planet and have done much of the last 500 years. Not to mention European colonialism (the expansion of empire) and the slave trade.Straight, white men in particular have created a system that protects them and their wealth. Racism is endemic in every Western nation.maxresdefault

What do I mean by racism? I mean having all of your life choices and opportunities hindered by the fact you are not white. It may not be as blatant as it once was with the abolition of slavery and segregation, but it’s still there. It’s the black guys getting shot by the police. It’s the transgender people of colour who aren’t even important enough to have their names printed in the paper when they are brutally murdered. It’s the native populations who have to protest their right not to have oil pipelines pollute their water supplies.The list is never ending.

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This is why it surprises me when white people say they have been a victim of racism. The above is racism. Getting called names because you are white or not getting a job because the manager wants people of their own race to work there, is racial discrimination, but it is not reverse racism. That’s not possible. Am I making sense? Racism can ONLY be something people of colour experience because it is a system of oppression built by white people to keep them in their place: in servitude of white people.

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I tried to explain this to a couple of my white friends lately and they lost their shit. We’ve been friends for years and yet their inability to accept that reverse racism isn’t a thing ended our friendships. I could not believe the white privilege I was seeing in them. It was making me fucking sick. I cried all night to think that I’d associated myself with people like that for so long and not once had they mentioned that they believed it to be a thing.reverse-racism

Is it racist to believe reverse racism is a thing? I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that it down plays the true racism that people of colour face every single day and that just ins’t acceptable in my book.

(I hope I’ve done this subject justice and I apologise if I’ve missed anything out or written an incorrect term. Please inform me and I’ll correct the blog.)

 

Brunch Burrito

I’m a big fan of jack fruit and this recipe is perfect for it. A burrito needs to be flavoursome and filling. Jack fruit takes on any flavour you give it but like tofu, doesn’t taste of anything on it’s own. Let’s pack in the herbs and spices!

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Spice mix

  • 1 tsp dried chilli
  • 1 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 1 tbsp smoked paprika
  • 4 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp oregano
  • 1 tsp parsley
  • 1 tsp cumin

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Make up your spice mix and place to one side.

Filling

  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 peppers, chopped
  • 1 small tin of sweetcorn, drained
  • 100 grams of cooked brown rice (cook this yourself first if needs be.)
  • 1 avocado
  • Juice of half a lime
  • Salt
  • Half a tsp of dried chilli
  • BBQ sauce
  • 1 tin of jack fruit in salted water. (Do not get the one in syrup.)
  • Pack of wholemeal tortillas

Method

  • Dry fry the onion and peppers until they start to soften.
  • Add the sweetcorn and brown rice to the pan and mix in.
  • Turn heat to low and stir every couple of minutes.

Now it’s time for the jack fruit. I warn you if you haven’t used it before, it’s some weird stuff. Drain the can in a sieve. It should look like this:

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Weird huh?

  • Pull it apart into shreds and add to the pan. (This can take some time if you haven’t done it before.)

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  • Add your spice bowl and mix in.

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  • Keep the heat on low, stirring occasionally.
  • Now let’s make some awesome mashed avocado! Peel the avocado and mash with the chilli, lime and salt to taste.
  • Heat yourself a tortilla in the microwave or in the oven.

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  • Mash some avocado onto your warm tortilla then place the filling along the middle. You may wish to add some sauce now too. I used Levi Root’s BBQ sauce.

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  • Wrap into a burrito by folding both ends in. Then slice down the middle to make it more manageable to eat.

Eat that baby warm. I managed two before I was stuffed up to my eyeballs.

Variation:  Don’t add the jack fruit until wrapping burrito. Make sure you give it some flavour though. 😉

Where do I get jack fruit? 

You’ll often find jack fruit in Asian supermarkets and the world food isle of the bigger chain supermarkets, depending on where you live.

 

 

 

Apple & Rhubarb Crumble

Yay! It’s autumn! Leaves on the ground, a chill in the air and a yummy pudding for your tummy.

I like to keep my baking really simple because I do not excel at it. I’ve lost count of the amount of desserts I’ve tried to make and they have turned out as a pile of slop. Tasty slop mind.

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Ingredients for filling:

  • 5 stems of fresh rhubarb or a bag of frozen. (I used the last of my home grown stuff.)
  • 1 apple, diced. (You can peel if you like, but I’m not fancy.)
  • A handful of frozen strawberries.
  • 1 TBSP sugar.
  • 1 TSP cinnamon
  • 1 TSP all spice
  • 1 TSP ground cloves
  • 1 TBSP maple syrup
  • 1 TSP vegetable oil

Ingredients for topping:

  • Enough plain flour to cover the filling, depending on what size dish you are using. (I used about 400 grams.)
  • 2 TBSP sugar
  • 2 TBSP semi-solid coconut oil or vegan butter.
  • 1 TSP almond extract
  • 1 TSP good quality vanilla extract

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Method:

  • Heat up a pan with the vegetable oil.
  • Fry the chopped rhubarb and apple for 2 minutes before adding the sugar.
  • Stir continuously until the sugar and oil start to form a caramel.
  • Now add the spices and maple syrup. Mix to insure everything is fully covered and turn off the pan.
  • Add the frozen strawberries at this point but don’t mix in.
  • Pour into a baking dish and turn on the oven to pre-heat.
  • Now get all the topping ingredients and place in a large bowl.
  • Rub the mixture through your finger and thumb, to create breadcrumbs.
  • Distribute the crumb over the top of the fruit mixture and place in the oven on a medium heat for about 25 minutes.
  • Serve either on it’s own or with vegan ice cream.

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Certainly not healthy, but bloody tasty. Get it in your face.